GreatSuccessIdeas.com

Susan Velez asked:




It is unfortunate that many Americans today do not pursue the “American Dream.” They get stuck working a 9-5 job for 20 plus
years with nothing to show for it.

With the importance of personal development at hand you learn how to begin taking small steps towards a life filled with joy and passion.

This has become such a fast and growing industry everyone wants to learn about self help in some area of their lives; you begin to understand the importance of personal development.

So why all the fuss you ask? Well we have all be raised in a society that instills limiting beliefs, and yes you probably still possess the beliefs that you picked up when you were young and they continue to hold you back today.

Personal development will teach you techniques that have been utilized in the past and are still used today to assist individuals to begin creating and working towards the “American Dream.” The importance of personal development is not taught
in our schools. (which I believe it should be)

So what are some of the techniques that are utilized by athletes, entrepreneurs, salespeople, professionals, and anyone else who decides to utilize them?

I have listed some of the techniques below:

1.) Goal Setting: believe it or not this is the most important step in the whole process. Without a goal you have no direction, and you will keep going in circles.

2.) Action: Okay now that you have a goal in place, take the time to write it down on paper. (believe it or not this is extremely powerful) It now becomes more than wanting, what are you willing to do to reach this goal? How much effort will you put forth?

3.) Set A Date: A goal without a date of accomplishment is just a wish. However learn to set a realistic date, if you set
a unrealistic goal, you can tend to become discouraged a not ever pursue an endeavor again.

4.) Read, Read, and Read: Never stop learning. You must continually be open to receiving more education. You can receive this education
through books, weekend seminars, or classes.

5.) Mastermind with others who understand the importance of personal development as you do, and they are on the path. The more you can surround
yourself with people who think like you do, it will benefit you both.

Remember the saying “birds of a feather flock together.” We become like our closest friends we hang out with.

The importance of personal development is; it is never too late to begin. However the sooner you begin your journey the sooner you can begin to let
go of your limiting beliefs.

Once you let go of your limiting beliefs you will begin to find the courage to pursue your dreams. Without dreams, we are just living without a purpose.
When we do not have a purpose, We have no spark or happiness. We as humans must have something to look forward to everyday.

So why not begin your journey today? You will begin to develop a passion and begin to find out what your passions and hobbies are. You also will
be able to assist your children and encourage them to “follow their dreams” and lead by example.

Remember the importance of personal development is to help you lead a more positive and powerful life. Is that not what everybody would love their
life to be like anyways?

Kansieo.com

Michael McGrath asked:




The role of Personal Development and Self Improvement is to help you achieve your goals in life. Both are designed to give you the skills you need to achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve. But can personal development or self improvement really improve your life situations?

Well, the purpose of both is to do just that. They are both just tools that are used to ensure you will succeed in your chosen life areas. They are designed to help you become happier on the inside and more satisfied with what you have on the outside in any are you chose to apply them!

So how do you start to set goals that truly lead to self improvement, more freedom, happiness and a better lifestyle for you and your family and ultimately more success? This question is not simple to answer because success means different things to different people. Therefore, if you want to become successful you must first have a clear understanding of what success means to you!

A fantastic way to get a clear on what success means for you is to ask yourself the question, “what would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?” Let your mind roam freely and immerse yourself in your inner vision. This vision will give you the clue that you need to unravel the mystery of success.

At an early age every human being knows what they want to do with their lives. We develop dreams and ambitions at a very early age. However as we grow older we are conditioned to believe that these dreams are not possible or are mere fantasies of our imagination. We are told to get an education, a good job, get married, have kids, a mortgage and holiday once a year with our family. By the time most people reach their mid twenties they have all but given up on their dreams or even forgotten what those dreams are. They have become conditioned into believing that they are incapable of achieving what they want in life. This fundamental belief forms the foundation of their self image and the rest of their mental attitudes are build upon it!

It is the role of personal development and self improvement to remove these conditioned mental attitudes from your inner mind and free you to pursue the life course that you chose for yourself. Through the use of personal development and self improvement you can begin today to remove mental conditioning that you received from well-meaning family, peers and teachers. In addition you will also be directed to remove all those negative mental attitudes that have been given to you by not so well-meaning people and those you have developed yourself through negative life experiences. This is not always an easy journey nor is it always enjoyable but the rewards that you receive are a thousand times the effort required.

The freedom that you can experience from removing just one negative mental and negative emotional pattern is akin to the feeling of rest and tranquility you feel after extreme physical exercise. Removing numerous negative mental attitudes and emotional stress from your mind and body is a feeling and experience that is truly hard to describe to someone who has never experienced it themselves.

Jesus Christ said, “seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you”: Matthew 6:33. By removing the negative mental and emotional attitudes from your mind you free yourself to reach your goals. Let me explain.

For instance you may have a desire to be wealthy and thus set a personal development goal to become financially free. There are thousands of different ways to achieve this goal. There are thousands of methods you could follow and plans you could set in motion that would bring you closer to this goal. Millions of people have gone from rags to riches. So, why does following a plan work for one person and the same plan will not work for another?

It is due entirely to the difference in attitude and mental conditioning!

There are at your disposal numerous personal development and self improvement methods that are designed to help you achieve this goal. Now these tools and methods are not designed to show you the way to become financially free but instead are designed to free you from your own inner resistance to being financially free. Many people think this is a waste of time and would prefer to be given step by step instructions to build financial wealth and I was once one of them. Yet however hard I tried and no matter how many plans and formulas I followed my financial situation actually grow worse.

Why was this? Were the plans I was following just not good enough to create wealth? Were the people peddling these rags to riches methods merely conning me out of my money? Was gaining wealth just pure luck like winning the lottery?

The answer to all of the above questions is no!

The plans I followed had worked for thousands and made them rich! The people selling me the products and methods had all made their fortunes using the very same techniques they were trying to teach me! I later found out that gaining wealth had nothing to do with luck!

It wasn’t that these things were not good enough to produce the wealth I craved it was that I THOUGHT I wasn’t good enough. When you hold a negative self image and have a negative view of yourself and your abilities it is very difficulty to achieve success no matter how much effort you put into it! This is why it is of paramount importance to first remove the negative conditioning that is holding you back in life.

Your attitude, which is only composed of thoughts and feelings, is responsible for your actions. Thought is the creator of action! Every action you perform, no matter how small or big, first begins in your mind as a thought. Each thought begins as a feeling. Think of when you met your last partner. You first felt the attraction. Then you had the thought that you would like to meet them. Then you performed some action to make that happen. Think of the last time you went out socializing. You had the feeling that you would like to have some fun, or be with your friends, were feeling lonely etc. Then you had the thought. Then you performed the action.

If your actions are motivated by your thoughts and feelings and your attitude is composed of thoughts and feelings do you think you could succeed at a given task if you hold a negative mental attitude about it or your ability to succeed at it?

Once you embrace personal development and begin to use any of the myriad of self improvement tools to remove your negative mental attitudes you will naturally find yourself becoming more successful in life. You actions will be more positive and you will unconsciously perform the correct actions that will lead you to success. I am sure you can know see how important it is to set some personal development goals. Not only will you see improvement in your self, you will also see many symptoms of success added unto you!

personal development

Susan Velez asked:




How would you define a personal development plan? Well I would define it as a plan you make for yourself to achieve something in your life. What do you wish to accomplish? Do you want to get a new career? Do you want to start an online business? Whatever it is you wish to do you will need to define a personal development plan and put begin to put it into action.

So let us begin to check out the steps to be able to define your personal development plan:

1.) Set some realistic goals for yourself. These goals must be something you truly wish to experience. Something that will motivate you if you do not set motivating goals then the chances of you not being able to overcome obstacles when you encounter them increases.

2.) Take action. Once you set your motivating goals, now it is time to begin to take action to move closer to them. without action you can not expect to achieve anything different in your life.

3.) Be open to opportunities as you begin to set your goals you will begin to notice opportunities that come your way. After all what you give your attention to will continue to grow. Always be open to the opportunities; and do not be afraid to take action. When you do take action if do not be afraid to change your course if something does not work out the way you expect it to. Sometimes we must be willing to take detours to reach our destinations.

4.) Celebrate your success. We all require acknowledgment for our successes. If you do not receive acknowledgment; you can become discouraged and quit working towards your goals. So you must learn how to celebrate every little success. Even if you are the only one who notices it.

5.) Start a success journal. One of the things I was taught when I began my personal development journey. One of the most important things to do is to begin writing down all your successes throughout the day.

Some of the success you can write down in your journal can be:

I walked the dogs today I stopped by the grocery store today and picked up some items we needed I cleaned the house today I spent time reading today I worked on my online business

These are just some examples you can write in your success journal. As you can see you are learning how to celebrate everything that you do on a normal daily basis. The more successes you see written down in your new journal; the better you will feel. The journal will also give you the confindence to continue towards your goals.

6.) Believe in yourself. This is an important step because without the belief in yourself you will not have the courage to pursue your goals.

7.) Visualize your goals. Always visualize the outcomes of the goals you wish to experience. The more you can see yourself reaching and having the goals; the quicker they will become a reality. If you learn to mix emotion along with the visualization this will speed up the process as well.

8.) Find a mentor. If you can find someone who has become successful in what you desire, read and study as much as you can to find out what habits they developed and what they did on a daily basis to have the success.

As you begin to apply these eight steps you will not only begin to be able to define a personal development plan; you will understand how to put it into action. You will also begin your journey to creating the life of your dreams.

Caffeinated Content – Members-Only Content for WordPress

Mercedes Oestermann Van Essen asked:




Personal Development is big business these days and you are spoilt for choice. This is precisely the problem, for most people do not like too much choice, because they do not now how to choose what is right for them. It also smacks of hard work, having to do research.

Deciding on the right criteria to choose from is critical and of course criteria vary from individual to individual. Fact is that most workshops disappoint and do not offer what the glossy adverts promise.

I have been to many a coaching, healing or other kind of Personal Development workshop and have come away either disappointed or found that I had no lasting benefit whatsoever form the experience. I have not even met people I would like to connect with later for networking or other purposes.

So, am I just a poor judge of workshops and seminars? I do not think so.The simple truth of the matter is that there are not many workshops or seminars that offer what I am looking for. Having experience in this field and held work shops internationally for top class organisers I do know what is required to make participants happy. And my expectations are therefore high.

Let me begin with the venue.To my mind this is very important, because the quality of your surroundings has a direct influence on your ability to concentrate and take in the course material. If you are locked in a dark room all day, or some small stuffy room without ambience in some purpose built hotel your senses are not going to be stimulated, you will soon feel tired and probably have difficulty lasting the morning, let alone a day or more.

Unfortunately too many seminars and workshops use purpose built rooms with all mod cons in total disregard of basic learning psychology.

Then there is the number of participants: If I attend a workshop, I want to be challenged and that means I do not want to be able to hide easily in the anonymity of 50 or, God forbid, 100 plus participants. If I wanted a group consciousness experience I would go to Stonehenge, Wembley or some place like that. I expect to get to know all the course participants well enough to allow me to feel comfortable, open up and build rapport with the group. It is good practice, challenges to engage me in the day and that way I grow.

The delivery of the material is another sticky point. There seem to be two main types, either you have the schoolteacher variety or you get the course presenter talking over the group delivering the material without engaging the participants actively. Not only does this become incredibly boring, and reminds me of my days at college it discourages learning.

I also find it impossible to concentrate on lengthy deliveries without interaction. On occasion I have seen participants drop off to sleep. Yes, it happens.

Are you offered food at breaks? The answer probably is no. I find this most irritating and it is not at all conducive to creating good group dynamics. It creates unnecessary disruption as well as delays, when participants are late returning after the break, or do not return at all. Rapport is broken and it takes a while to re-establish, often this cannot be done after the lunch break, momentum is lost and the afternoon a waste..

And what about course notes? Some seminar and workshop presenters do not give notes at all, some after the course, but most will give you the material to look over whilst you listen. Personally I think either way is acceptable, but far more important for the long term success of any workshop and seminar is good quality follow up material.

This might be in the form of books to purchase, newsletter or even follow up courses you can attend. Some organisers have gatherings for the participants at bi-monthly intervals. To my mind such gatherings are a great idea, because they encourage networking with like minded people and that will keep you on your toes.

We all need time to integrate the new things we have learned until we have practiced them enough that they become automatic we need gentle, pleasurable reminders.

I am sure that you can see where I am coming from with these comments and what to look out for in workshops. If in doubt, call the organiser or presenter, have a chat and see if you feel comfortable with him or her, do not be afraid to ask questions. Above all know yourself and what you want out of the workshop.

Attending a workshop that is right for you can be a great pleasure to attend, and bring you immense benefits well beyond what you imagine right now.

Create a video blog

Kourosh Kavian asked:




Sometimes getting round to it is the hardest part. Our sample personal development plans provides a structure that you can elaborate on as much as you like when you create a personal development plan for yourself.

The concept of planning you life, and planning your own development puts many people off. We are all different, some of us are very detail oriented and enjoy getting everything down in writing. The writing process itself usually helps us to clarify and structure as we go along. Sample personal development plans will be very useful to create a personal starting point. The actual content will be decided by you.

Other people are more free spirited and feel limited by writing down details. They fear that they will be restricted in life and spirit and often reject the idea of a plan, any plan… They fear that they have to follow the plan if they write it. And yes, there is power in words, especially written words, that is why contracts and legal documents are proof, something to refer to and agree upon.

Similarly, if you create a personal development plan for your own life, there will be power in it, something to follow and stick with when you face obstacles. That is a positive factor, not something to procrastinate.

So decide to take your life seriously enough to spend a little time evaluating what you want and how you will get it. For people in this category, our sample personal development plans provide doable instructions without being overwhelming.

For those of you who need an example of a personal development plan, we will provide one for you. Just bear in mind that a plan is indeed personal and could be designed in countless different ways. But we believe that certain elements are required to make it into an effective plan. Consequently, focus on the key elements and then be as creative as you like! Please note that there are useful similarities between a personal development plan and goal setting.

Sample Personal Development Plans

The elementary building blocks:

WHAT?

Figure out what changes you want in your life. Write them down. It could be financial improvement, better health, more satisfying social life, higher grades, a nicer home, more time with your kids, less time at the office or just about anything that is important in your life.

Many people want to get rid of a bad habit, like smoking. That naturally concerns health, but a change like this will probably indirectly lead to improvements in most other areas in life too. Therefore, the next step is to find out the reasons behind your “what”.

WHY?

Always bear in mind that sample personal development plans serve as examples only. You create a personal development plan for you and not anybody else?s life. Accordingly, you have to figure out exactly WHY you want to implement this change/these changes in your life. And why is that so important? Well, if you know why you are doing something, it means you have a goal, a desired outcome. And it is so much easier to work towards a clearly specified goal than none at all. “How are you going to hit the target if you do not have one?” (Zig Ziglar) Now you begin to see the close parallels with successful personal goal setting.

HOW?

There are two main subcategories of the “how”-factor.

a) Think about HOW this particular change will improve your life. With the quit smoking example, you would list benefits such as better personal economy, improved health, more beautiful looking skin, a fresher breath, mental strength through knowing that you could do it (and apply the same strategy to other areas too), longer life etc.

b) This is the practical aspect; Exactly HOW are you going to achieve this? HOW will you make it happen? Hopefully it will be very easy. And ideally you should keep it simple. You want to quit smoking? The best thing to do is to stop putting cigarettes in your mouth!

Well, most of us like to create a more viable plan than that, but the general idea is so true. Do not make things complicated. If you have figured out your “what” and “why”, the rest is just the action. Of course, you need a lot of motivation, but that is what you get from your personal list of “WHY” you want the change. All factors interact.

WHEN?

This aspect ties in with “how” to a great extent, because it deals with the time factor. Many of us feel that we lack time, and perhaps we do if we spend it unwisely. Time is an asset, and unlike money, it is equal in the sense that we all have the same amount to spend. We all have 24 hours in a day (and night).

When we want to implement some changes in our lives, we often habitually claim that we have not got the time. Scrutinize the facts, and you will probably see that if you prioritize more wisely, you will find the time.

Most people really do not need to spend 3-4 hours per day in front of the TV. Throw out the TV and you might end up with 20 hours per week to pursue your personal development plan. That is more than 1000 hours in a year!

So what else can you expect to find in sample personal development plans?

Important additional points of consideration:

Schedule

Make a time schedule to fit in your new activities and habits. Make sure to schedule the important new habits first. Prioritize those actions, so they will actually happen. If you do not schedule them, they will only happen when you “feel like it” and in most cases, that is never! So take your life seriously enough to fit in new and enhancing habits into your life?s puzzle. Hopefully our sample personal development plans will provide some assistance.

Keep focused

If you have scheduled a particular action to improve you life, then do it! Often thinking about a task is more tiring than actually doing it. Perhaps you need some daily affirmations to keep your mind focused?

Journal

Keep a journal where you write down ideas, thoughts, feelings or anything else that relates to you and your development.

Be realistic

Do not make an unrealistic personal development plan for yourself. If you do, you will be de-motivated. Instead, go for little but doable changes. As you succeed with those little things, you will be motivated to achieve even greater things. The things outlined in this and other sample personal development plans are intended to inspire and guide you. But you and only you can implement the changes you need in your life. It is your choice!

Website content

Kevin Eikenberry asked:




Personal development.

Professional development.

Leadership development.

Regardless of which words you use, chances are as the New Year begins, you are thinking about some sort of development; some sort of approach to creating change, growth and advancement in your life.

As you think about our world today, the good news is that you have lots of tools to choose from for any of these development efforts. The bad news is that you have lots of tools to choose from.

The challenge isn’t finding the tools, it is not getting lost in the sea of options – having so many choices that you are immobilized and ultimately choose… none.

This short article is designed to help you think about the blizzard of options you have for any development desire and to give you a simple process and series of questions to help you select the best tools and approach for reaching your development goals – whatever they are.

Find Your Focus. You can’t pick the right tool or right type of tool until you know on what you really want to focus. Let’s take leadership development as an example. While that does narrow your focus from career advancement, or something like that; leadership development is still a pretty broad category. Do you really want to become a better communicator, or more influential, or a better coach, or better at delegation or what? As you begin to refine your focus it will help you filter and find the best tools for your needs. Ask yourself: “What is my specific development focus?”

Recognize Your Learning Style and Preferences. Getting clear on how you best learn and how you prefer to learn is an important piece of self awareness and understanding. And, as important, it is critical to not only finding the best tools, but using them once you have them. (After all you won’t learn by osmosis – you will have to use whatever tools you select.) Do you prefer to interact as you learn? If so, find tools that include a live component – like a live teleseminar or webinar (or of course a face-to-face seminar or workshop). Do you like personal help and attention? If so, find a coach or mentor to help you in your specific development area. Do you learn well by listening or reading? If so, audio recordings or books/transcripts may be the place for you to start. These are just some examples of what I am talking about. Start your sorting process by asking yourself: “How do I learn best and what clues does that give me in picking the types of learning materials I want?”

Determine Your Goals. Focus is fine, but what you really want is a specific learning goal. Your focus area might have drilled in that clearly; if not, before you pick any tools, get crystal clear on exactly what success looks like. Use what you already know about goal setting to inform you here. Be specific, have a measurable outcome, have a timeline and be clear on the purpose for and benefits of reaching that specific development goal. All of these factors will help you pick the right tool. Ask yourself: “What is my specific learning goal and why is it important to me?”

Identify your Mentors and Experts. After doing the first three steps you should be zeroed in on specific learning outcomes and have a good picture of the types of tools that will work for you (whether recording, reading materials, checklists, live sessions, coaching and more). That will narrow the field, but you likely will still have many experts and/or mentors to choose from. Do a search, ask your friends, or review the experts, trainers and writers that you already read and/or follow. Which ones have a style or approach you like? Which ones seem to match with you philosophically? Which will you enjoy learning from? Making this an intentional decision will make you far more successful in making the best choices and following through on your selections? Ask yourself: “Who has the expertise and tools that will help me reach my development goals?”

Invest in yourself. You’ve figured out your focus and your goals. You’ve determined the best type of learning materials to meet your needs and style. You’ve even figured out who you want to learn from. Great! Now it is time to invest! Think about your goal and why reaching it will make a difference in your life. With that in mind, realize that nothing in life (or personal and professional development) comes for free. You must invest your dollars in the products and services. You must invest your time in using them. You must invest in yourself. Are there free resources available to help you in your specific goal? Most assuredly. Should take advantage of them? Without a doubt. Recognize though that free will likely only get you so far and likely not all the way to your goals. When you have invested the time and thought into the first four suggestions, it will be clear to you that you are worth the investment to get what you need. If you are serious about your development, invest appropriate. You are worth it! Ask yourself: “What is reaching my development goal worth to me – financially, personally and more?”

Five suggestions; and five related questions. Take these suggestions and answer these questions and you will to translate your plethora of development options into obvious picks for your success!

Of course, the unstated step is the most important of all – you must take action.

You must read the book, listen to the recordings, do the suggested steps, attend the session, etc. While I realize this goes beyond the advice of how to pick your tools, none of that activity will matter if you don’t use the tools and apply what they offer you.

Remember that you are worth it – and you can reach your development goals. This set of suggestions and questions will help you choose intelligently and help you move towards those goals – and gain those results much more rapidly.

It is time to get started.

Kansieo.com

Liam McCauley asked:




Personal development and growth are important paths to becoming more successful in every area of life. A business, a career and a personal life can all be made more successful and more fulfilling with some personal improvements. No matter what a person’s success level, there are always improvements that can result in a happier and more productive life.

Personal Development Goals

One of the fundamental steps of personal development is setting goals. Some people find any goals and goal stages helpful to keep them on track for success. Other people prefer to make several larger goals to strive toward in order to avoid feeling too constricted by more numerous, smaller goals. Some people choose both, making a series of smaller goals that lead to an overall larger achievement.

Improve Self Motivation by Using Affirmations

Telling yourself something that you want to believe or to make happen is a positive affirmation that can be used to improve your self motivation. Much of our self determination and motivation comes simply from how we feel about ourselves and our abilities. Repeating personal affirmations can help to instill that self confidence.

To decide on the best affirmations to use, think about the skills and abilities you need to perform many of the business tasks that are helpful to your career. If you believe that you aren’t good at any of these skills, create an affirmation to improve your confidence. Repeat the affirmation several times a day until you believe that they are true.

With better self confidence, the excuses that can hamper motivation will become fewer and further between. Many problems with self motivation often stem from simply having too little confidence that the tasks can actually be completed well. Believing that you have the abilities needed means there is no reason to put off attempting to complete the needed tasks.

Paths to Empowerment

For anyone who is seeking to improve self confidence and motivation, there is no one way to find the empowerment desired. People need to evaluate their long-term and short-term goals and think about how they could best become empowered. For some people, seeing some initial successes is the only thing that will make them feel empowered. For others, having the self confidence to tackle anything they want to do is the best path.

To find out what your best path to empowerment is, think about your personal development goals and how you motivate yourself. The things that make you feel good, confident and strong are the things that help empower you to do your best. Using those paths to empowerment can help you to achieve your personal development goals. And with goals achieved, self confidence continues to grow and allow the achievement of bigger goals.

Caffeinated Content

Dwayne Gilbert asked:




The final element we need to discuss in this series is the element of void. Void really has no traits of it’s own except for one, freedom. Void is the ability to adapt and use what means are necessary to get the results we are shooting for. Void is about a freedom that very few people ever begin to realize in their lives, and I hope that this will help open your eyes to the potential that is out there for you to realize freedom in all areas of your life for yourself.

Void is about freedom. I heard a great teacher use this example once. If you only have one option for any given situation, you are a robot. Machines and robots do one thing, and one thing only. This is not freedom. If you only have two options for any given situation then you have a dilemma. This or that. If you have three or more options for any given situation you begin to approach freedom. Options, and having as many of them as possible, is what freedom is all about. Take food in our society for example. There is never an issue when it comes to food in America because we have so many options. Only when money is tight and we only have two things in our refrigerator and don’t want either of them do we feel limited. If you had your choice of absolutely anything right now, regardless of what it was, in any area of your life, would that not feel like true freedom? Learning to understand and apply the concepts of these different elements begins to give you options for dealing with anything in life as well as getting anything. That, is true freedom. Freedom is not given to us by laws or by another person, it is given to us by ourselves.

The ability to know which element is appropriate for any given situation to get the best results is crucial when it comes to applying these strategies. The better you get at shifting from one strategy to another the better the results you will begin to get in your life. This also applies to bringing these elements into ourselves and using those energies to get the results we want. The problem is that most people come from only one option. Take this for example. When most people get mad, they use one of four basic responses. They clam up and stand their ground. They will become completely apologetic and try to sooth the situation. They will attack what is being said relentlessly until you back down. Or they will withdraw and snap back with what they think is a logical response.

Now these are all negative ways of dealing with anger or a stressful situation based on the four elements, but what if you were able to pick and choose the positive response from any one of the four elements. What if you could firmly hold your ground and with a clam, cool, collected tone look someone right in the eye and tell them that right now is not the time and it has to wait. Maybe you could listen very carefully to what is being presented looking for the weaknesses in the presentation and then attack those weaknesses. A fire response would be to instantly turn on the energy and let the person know that this very moment is not the moment they are going to win and if they want to continue then fine, but you recommend they let it be until another time. An appropriate wind response would be to show compassion for their side of the story. Listen closely and with complete understanding. When they have shifted toward a more positive emotional state, then you can carefully and very tactfully present your side of the story and discuss why they feel the way they do.

Learning to give yourself options opens up a world of opportunity. Just the four ways of responding above could open a whole new world for you when used in the right circumstances. There are times and people that each of the above responses are appropriate where another response would only make the matter worse. Learn to recognize these times and which one works best where, and you will begin to discover what real balance and freedom are. After all, a positive balance from a position of freedom and options is one of the most liberating places anyone can get to.

Caffeinated Content – Members-Only Content for WordPress

Albert Foong asked:




Wake up!

When I began my personal development journey, I went off on a several wrong roads which slowed down my progress greatly. I’d like to help you avoid these mistakes, and thus I’ve put together some recommendations on the direction a newcomer should take.

Some of you might be tempted to jump into some area that you feel is the most lacking. In my case it was social skills and confidence. But as Stephen Covey states in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, there are personality ethics and character ethics.

To oversimplify, Personality Ethic personal development involves techniques and tactics to get what you want. Character Ethic personal development means that you BECOME someone who will have what you want. This is exactly the mistake I made, for I jumped straight without any research, and wasted much time on Personality Ethic growth.

Let’s take social skills for example. You want a potential business client to buy your service. If you were a Personality Ethic devotee, you will learn techniques like presentation and directing conversation to highlight your good points while hiding your bad points.

Character Ethic devotees will work on actually removing their bad points and strengthening their good points so there is nothing to hide. The client sees your good points and no bad points simply because there are no bad points to show.

While Personality Ethics have their uses, changing who you are is far more valuable. I started out learning social skills and “faking” happiness and confidence. But I was still the same inside. I was still the unhappy person underneath it all, just that I had a few extra tricks up my sleeve.

I feel my personal growth truly started when I stopped trying to copy the behaviours and mannerisms of a happy man, hoping to fool others into thinking I am one. That was when I decided to work on actually being a happy person and build confidence.

That is the reason for this guide; I have made the mistakes so you don’t have to.

Step One: Take a good hard look at your life.

Few people lead happy and purposeful lives. The majority exist, not live. They just get by. They are unhappy with their lives, and they blame external events for it – the economy, their circumstances, or other people. This way of thinking is so deeply ingrained that no amount of logical argument can convince them otherwise.

Are you happy with each aspect of your life? Wake up and realise that you are in charge of it. Yes, external circumstances can be a factor – some have it better then others, but there is nothing that cannot be improved. Improvement is never ending. Decide right here and now that you will handle it.

You might stumble at the start but you will learn and you will get what you want. Do not give up at the first sign of failure. Any new skill you learn will come with an initial period of trial and error.

Another trap to be wary of is conformity. Are you living your life the way you want to? Be honest. Are you living the life society wants you to live? Or the life your parents want you to live? Or are you doing things because the people around you are doing so? Do you work at your job because you love it, or because you are too scared to do otherwise? Do you stay in a relationship that you don’t like, because you are afraid you can’t find any better?

At this point many people will say “MY situation is different! You don’t understand! I can’t because…” No! Take responsibility! No-one can do it for you!

Remember, this applies to all aspects of your experience; relationships, career, health, friends, location, finances and everything else. Think of all these honestly – are you where you want to be? If not, what is stopping you? Most likely, only yourself!

Next, step two!

The remainder of the series can be found at the Urban Monk website.

Kansieo.com